I started "prepping" Hunter several weeks ago, for going back to Kids Day Out. Going anywhere besides our living room to play with trucks these days, can often become a major battle. And with our history of drop-offs/sitters/new places & faces -- I was preparing myself for war. :) I had the hardest time making the decision to have him attend both days for many reasons - one being that in past experiences it takes such a huge effort on my part to prep him, help him maintain low anxiety levels, and then deal with my own anxiety over his anxiety - it just doesn't seem worth it. Secondly, I felt guilty sending him away 2 days a week at the same time I'm finally getting to stay at home full time. But mainly, I just felt that my child prefers to stay at home with me & I prefer stay at home with him (allowing me to control his surroundings, influences, protection, behavior, & learning). But after MUCH consideration, discussion, & prayers Andrew and I decided that it was in Hunter's best interest to attend KDO twice weekly, Mondays & Thursdays. We realize that socialization with other children & other adults is very important for his growth & development and as Andrew, my momma, and several others pointed out -- it's only 10 hours a week . . . leaving me with at least 74 other hours a week with him. :) Plus the fact that in just a few short weeks, we will have a new tiny addition in our family which will make my everyday chores & life different & I may find the bit of extra time extremely valuable.
Since I decided to continue using his adorable backpack and "McChow" lunchbox from last year (and of course that super neat & handy container I found at pottery barn that's AWESOME), the only other thing I really needed to get a new nap mat. We never got around to one last year, instead we just used a pillow & blanket that we rolled up every week. And since my little man has been done taking naps for 9 months now, I wanted to find him something that he thought was really special, to make it easier for him to "rest" on, for that hour or so in class each day. After checking out several options, I realized that nap mats can be quite pricey and honestly, my Granny could easily make one custom for Hunter, much much cheaper. So I found this great tutorial http://jennygarland.typepad.com/NapMatTutorial.pdf and then Hunter & I went shopping for fabric. It didn't take us long to spot the PERFECT one . . . construction trucks, of course. It was a very soft flannel and the orange minky-dot topped it off - Hunter was in LOVE.
Granny already had several of the needed supplies stocked up, even an old cot mat she found & was able to cut down to size - saving me even more $$. Cha-ching. (haha, don't think I've said that since 3rd grade) When she brought it over a couple weeks later, Hunter was ECSTATIC. He wanted to use it right away and played on it for hours that afternoon. Thank You Granny
I stayed anxious the couple weeks prior to his starting back to school. . . a new class, new teachers, and no Ava to be his comfort/security (she started pre-school this year). I especially hated that we had to miss the open house/meet & greet because we were at the beach the week before school started. So to help, I poured lots of energy into continuously talking about starting back, explaining how the day would go, showing excitement & even practicing techniques for making new friends, sharing, and getting rid of the "shy crab" that might try to get hold of him. Needless to say, much prayer was involved as well.
His first day to KDO arrived the the day following our forever long trip home from the beach. This transition also concerned me greatly, and I was so thankful that Andrew decided to stay home that morning to help get us off on the right track.
Not excited to take pictures . . .
Mommy tried to get a few, without "pushing it" too far on such a delicate morning.
Saying goodbye to Daddy & Lily one last time
First Day of Kids Day Out
Fall 2012 3 Years Old
On our drive there we had our usual talk; going over politeness, sharing, and behavior. Then how drop-off is for hugs & kisses, with the understanding that Mommy always comes back; an explanation of how the day will flow; and then what he has to look forward to after pick-up. I've found that (although tiring & very repetitive) this truly helps calm his anxieties and prep him for all that is to come. So after all that, I asked him to show me the BEST smile he had, so he could share it with his teachers.
This is what I got . . . lol
He found his name, "H - for Hunter" and his bucket to place his things in.
Happy? Excited?? Scared??? Overwhelmed???? hahaha
Not sure, but I love the expression
As it turned out: Drop off went WAY better than I could have dreamed. Only a slight hesitation after the hug good-bye but absolutely no tears & no looking back. Praise Jesus. Pick-up however I had not prepared myself for. I guess I had done such a great job getting him excited about going, that when it was time to leave, he wanted no part in it. So we left the first day of school, having a major melt down that lasted for over an hour . . . exhausting us both to tears. I have learned so much becoming a mother. One of the most important - to be understanding and sympathetic to other mothers & their children. Because in moments such as these, I looked like a horrible mother who had lost control of her horrible fit-throwing child, when in reality, I was totally embarrassed, flustered, and in a horrible situation/location to "handle" my child the way I needed to. So after finally getting him (and myself) calmed down enough to safely drive home, I once again made another mental note not to judge. Because although it was a major melt down that I wished I could have stopped or prevented, I believe it was the combination & result of dealing with transitions (often a difficult task for him), fatigue from vacation/traveling, and just the release of anxiety emotions brought on by the new day. I know I'm not a horrible mother with a horrible child - I've actually got a precious little boy who is full of love & sweetness and I'm a very loving, attentive mother who works diligently at raising a Godly son. These moments in life are all about teaching us . . . to understand, to learn, to grow, to trust, and to depend - not on ourselves, but our Lord.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.
Psalm 94:19
**Side note: By the time we arrived home, Hunter had quit the frantic fighting & screaming and had switched to a completely new tactic. He was insistent that he "wanted to go back to school" and decided that if I didn't take him back, then he would "walk back by mys-self." It caught me completely off-guard and I couldn't help but find the humor in it, and decided to try out my momma's method of "well, go on ahead then." So when the front door closed behind him, I walked to the window and watched him sob on the front porch for a couple of minutes and then listened to his tune change to, "pwease come wif me momma - pwease you take me back to school?" I let myself chuckle for a moment and then proceeded to teach him a lesson about never doing that again . . .
Needless to say, my anxiety level was high as his second day of KDO rolled around that Thursday. Grandmommy showed up to help give encouragement (and spend some QT with just ME - which was SO WONDERFUL) and the morning routine of getting out the door went well.
However, drop-off resulted in a flood of tears & the prying away of little fingers . . . leaving Mommy & Grandmommy sad, but hopeful that Jesus would hear our prayers & be his comforter. Pick-up that day went excellent. I was greeted with wonderful hugs & loads of kisses and the news from Hunter's teachers that it had only taken a few minutes for him to calm down that morning and that he'd had a wonderful day. Praise Jesus
If only I had to powers to combine "looking at camera, "smiling," and "sitting still" into the same photo. :) What a miracle that'd be. HA
By Hunter's third day of KDO, I am proud to report that we had an EXCELLENT drop-off and pick-up. YEAH!!!! Last year it took almost 4 months to have a day without any tears, so I'm very thankful for such an improvement. Hopefully it will continue to only get better and easier . . .
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
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